previously on Dumbgeons and Dragons.
Moot, uh, Glim, you're there now, too. Sully!
Hey, Dainry, what's up?
I was a bit of an explosion.
Oh, was it Jam?
No.
Also, I don't think explosions are referred to as a bit of an explosion, usually.
Uh, hey, I found something over here.
I mean, this ash is really pink. It's pretty strange.
And it goes into trying to find a source and trying to access it and use it in his spells.
And it gets to the last page, which is basically just like this, like, hard sketched image.
It's hard to describe even as you look at it, but it's like nothing you've ever seen before.
Does this look familiar to you at all, Terry?
Oh, that looks kind of scary, doesn't it?
Yeah, yeah, that's what I was thinking. Maybe it's something that you've seen before.
Anyways, we can probably go check the, uh, I mean, we can go check that list.
We don't need to check that list. I seem like I would know who's on that list.
Do you know where they live or hang out?
And what's their name?
Yeah.
Oh, oh, oh, name's Boots.
Small round object flies out of the window towards you.
Oh, I want to catch it.
Welcome to Dumbgeons and Dragons. I'm your dungeon master, Russ More. He,
Him, also with me today is Tom Laird.
Yeah, that's me, He, Him, and I'm playing Moot, who also goes by He,
Him, a wild magic half-orc sorcerer.
And Amy More.
Yeah, she, her, and I am playing Sullivan Sleight, a lightfoot halfling rogue. He,
Him.
And Carla Maxted.
She, her, playing Glim, a dragonborn pAlydin. Also, she, her.
Happy to be here with everybody tonight. Having such a good time.
We laughed so hard in the last downtime that I would like to just say,
down times are fun.
Down times are fun.
It's an extension of the fun, and patrons $5 plus get access to them,
and they come out every Saturday after we release an episode. And this last one,
let me just put out there, Shmegma.
Oh my God.
People have heard that word. They know what it is. Some people know.
Some people know.
None of us did.
If you don't know what the down times are, they happen immediately after we record an
episode. We do like a two to five to 10 minute debrief about the things that happen in it,
and maybe test drives.
And maybe some random team boy, gross words.
Yep. All of that and more over at Patreon.com slash dumb dragoncast,
where when you are a patron, you also get an episode dedicated to you,
like today's patron, Adam from Snyder's Return.
Thanks, Adam.
Thank you, Adam.
Thank you, Adam. Really enjoy Snyder's Return.
Was a guest over there. You should go check him out.
He interviews tabletop RPG creators and streamers and podcasters and all sorts of people in the
industry. It's very cool. You should go check him out.
Thank you. Patreon.com slash dumb dragoncast.
Come join us. We'd love it.
We would love it.
No, fuck it. Let's play.
I would like to.
I want to catch it and throw it back.
All right, Monk. Let's see if you can do that.
Stop stealing Elia's thing. She hasn't got to do it yet.
I know.
OK, I did make a note that there will be projectiles fired at you in the next session.
I mean, I'm good with decks, so I figure something out of midair maybe.
Yeah, sure. OK, great. Do it.
Yeah, I want to catch it.
I'm going to catch it.
Catch it.
Oh, fuck me. I'm going to use.
Hold on. Fuck. Jesus.
It's going great. Yeah.
That's what Amy sounds like when she rolls well.
Everything is fine. I have halfling luck or something.
What's that's a thing. You roll a one.
No, that's when it counts.
That's only when it counts.
Yeah. Oh.
What'd you roll? A two.
So a total of seven. Great.
So that's an auto fail on your dexterity saving throw.
Everybody else, roll a dexterity saving throw as this explosion goes off.
Please be confetti. Please be confetti.
I also rolled a two, which gives me a two.
Oh, I'm not very dexterous. I'm quite large.
Hey, guys, without a word of a fucking lie, I also rolled a two.
What's happening?
How's Terry?
Oh, Terry. Let's see what Terry rolled.
I almost called him Jerry.
Terry rolled an 18.
Yeah, I did.
Oh, I mean, he's OK. He's in full plate.
So that's disadvantage. Still a 12.
So still way better than all of you.
Hey, listen.
Our six combined.
Yeah. Hey, hey, hey.
I had a seven, technically, excited two with five.
So how I see this is you see movement up in the upper balcony, curtains moving,
projectile, fizzy flames coming out of it.
Sully steps forward.
I got this, guys.
Reaches his hand high in the sky towards this as it soars past him.
Behind him and explodes projecting him forward and everybody else blowing you back.
You're all going to be prone.
Everybody's going to take four bludgeoning damage.
OK, as well as.
Oh, so this wasn't glitter.
I'll describe it to you as well as three piercing damage
as this projectile explodes with a giant plume of rainbow confetti.
But mixed within this confetti is tiny shards of glass.
What kind of fucking psycho lives it?
What the fuck is wrong with you, man?
And the putz putz this guy in the face.
When you look up as the kind of the dust settles and you're
assessing each of your wounds and look up, he's disappeared from the upstairs window.
Sully's pulling glass out of his face, just pissed.
It's so much worse with it.
Why would you make it so beautiful?
Glitter was bad enough.
Isn't he on probation?
Is this not some sort of violation of probation?
This is a definite violation of probation.
He's going to need a citation.
Good thing I brought my book of citations.
This is definitely a 463.
Make a notation in your citation.
This guy's about to find his expiration date.
Maybe we'll go for some libations.
Oh, after we solve this mystery.
Yeah, that'll make everything feel better.
What was I doing?
Well, I don't know.
Citation, right?
Apprehend him.
Okay, I'm going to write him a ticket and then we're going to go in and get him.
Well, you said write a citation.
Just go in and get him and then you can write him the ticket.
I want to sneak around back because that seems like something sneaky.
That's a rogue, isn't it?
Guys, I'm going to go around the back.
I'm going to make sure he doesn't exit through any sort of back door situation.
Oh, yeah.
Good, good idea.
Okay, we'll go up to the front door.
Watch out.
I mean, he really, really likes explosions.
Yeah, I can tell.
Yeah, yeah.
You've made that abundantly clear.
Okay, yeah, I want to.
Sully goes around.
Roll investigation as you are because I presume you're looking for things that
might make explosions in your face.
17.
17?
Yeah.
Great.
Moot and Glim and Terry.
Well, Terry's going up to the front door.
Moot and Glim, where are you going?
I think that I will also head towards the front.
I mean, you said it's a rundown shack.
I'm assuming there isn't wings that we need to explore various grounds.
But I'm also going to investigate as I approach because the bombs.
Yeah, that sounds like a great idea.
This place is the bomb, you guys.
Everybody who wants to may roll investigation.
18.
Well, that's better.
19 for me.
Oh, yeah, investigating so good.
So Sully disappears kind of around the side and you no longer see him.
Not that he's disappeared, but just that he's gone out of sight.
Object permanence.
Don't just want to make sure there's no portals beside.
He is still there.
Sully, where did he go?
Sully has been raptured.
So it's over, guys.
It's over.
We call these characters the babies, so I just want to make sure.
Moot and Glim, you're following behind Terry.
Terry is confidently stepping up the stairs and both of you see a thin wire
that he's about to step on as he steps his foot towards the top.
Yeah, what's up?
Like a trip wire.
Oh, he kind of takes a step back and stumbles down the couple steps.
Oh, yeah.
No, I totally saw it.
It was just going to make sure that everybody else was seeing whose side you're on.
I know you're on our side.
It's OK.
I was I didn't see it.
I was just trying to be cool.
I was looking at the notes that I wrote down earlier.
OK, but like, you know, this guy loves his explosions,
so we got to be a little more.
What about the explosion of the front door?
It sounds like this guy does.
I think he'll put an explosion anywhere.
All right, OK.
I wouldn't use the toilet here either, is all I'm saying.
I should have gone at Murlock's before we left.
I should have gone at Murlock's.
Yeah.
All right.
This is Russ's game.
He's not going to let you go.
These are life decisions that we all make.
OK, the three of you go just take a look at where the trip wire is attached to,
and we cut to the back where we see Sully.
Coming around the side, you haven't found anything
moving around the side of the building.
You come to the back and it is just a door with a single glass panel in it.
Curtains drawn at the back door.
Three steps up.
You don't see anything walking up to the steps.
There's no trip wires.
There's no pressure plates.
No, nothing like that.
I'm going to press my back to the door, like not to the door, but sorry.
I'm going to press my back to the back of the house
so that I am just outside of view.
If someone were to look out the door, they wouldn't see me.
OK.
And I'm not on the stairs.
I'm like down next to the house so that I can get the jump on him if he decides to leave.
That's what I want to do.
And can I like ready in action for when he comes out?
Is that a thing?
Popcorn.
I don't know if that's how that works,
but I yelled it.
So it's what I want to do.
I mean, sure.
Why not?
Yeah, sure.
Yeah, OK.
I've got time to ready in action.
I'm over here just like.
OK, so you are putting your back to the wall, waiting for him to make a move.
Yes.
Got it.
Yes.
We cut back to the front.
I don't get to ready in action.
You can absolutely ready in action.
What do you want your action to be?
I'm going to hit him with my fright.
I'm going to slash at him with my frightful sort of reflection.
I'm going to cut that motherfucker as he comes in.
Cut a bitch.
Yep, got it.
OK, that's what I wanted to do.
Cut back to the front.
You've disengaged what looks to be like a pipe bomb
that is set up at the side of this staircase
that looked like it would have been triggered by this.
So you've gently cut the wire and are able to proceed to the door.
And Terry goes up and knocks on the door and stands and waits.
Terry, I think just maybe he's not going to answer the door.
Oh.
You know what with throwing the confetti bomb at us.
Right, right, right, right, right, right.
Yeah, yeah, OK.
Yeah, sure.
Well, should we kick in the door or should we?
Well, maybe we take a close hard look at that door
and see if we see any more wires kicking around.
Let's really explore the space of the door.
Terry moves his face into the door and he's looking at the door.
It's looking like a door.
Does everybody else roll?
Like investigating what's your face.
Nineteen again.
You don't see anything visible from the outside.
I'm going to open the door.
Whoa, whoa, I was looking at that part.
OK.
Oh, oh, sorry.
No, that's OK.
The door swings open and in.
Loud creak echoes down the hallway before you.
And you see the insides very much like the outsides.
All tossed around, furniture overturned.
Looks like there have been explosions
that have been set off in various parts of this house.
There is a welcome mat that looks to be in not pristine condition.
It looks used, but it doesn't look like the rest of the house.
It's very embellished writing on it.
Welcome with a wand and a sparkler down in one of the corners.
I mean, hey, Glenn, does this welcome mat and look a little suspicious to you?
Yeah, it just seems out of place.
Really doesn't fit the decor.
Kind of reminds me of the sign, I think.
It seems more like Murlock's kind of brand.
I mean, I don't know him or boots, but is this...
Terry, you'll know the sign better at Murlock's.
Is this the same?
Kind of looks familiar now that you say it,
with the little kind of thing coming out of the end.
Yeah, that's the part.
Well, yeah, maybe he stole it.
If he was the one writing the letters and had such a shot against him,
maybe he stole his mat and now we got him.
I mean, maybe that's the extent of his crimes, but...
Could be.
Maybe he just has great taste in doormats.
I think we should just...
Yeah, yeah.
Boots?
Boots, we're coming in.
You hear quick footsteps upstairs.
My name's Glam, here to save the world.
Not here exactly to save the world, just like on the planet to save the world,
but you know, you know what I mean.
Like, you know about destiny.
Anyway, Boots, do you want to come?
We just want to talk to you about something.
Have you entered or are you still doing this from the doorway?
I think I enter, but I step over the mat because it seems out of place,
so I'm going to not touch it.
Okay.
Yeah, you step over the mat.
Moot, are you following or are you staying outside for now?
I'll follow.
Okay.
Glam and Moot step in.
Terry's following behind.
He tells a dog to wait.
Marky Bark, I can't remember for the life of me what we named that dog.
He tells him to wait outside
because I forgot that that dog turns into a giant monster.
So maybe we'll just leave him outside for now.
Maybe we bring him inside.
Maybe.
You two step in and as you step in, you step over the mat.
You hear more scuffling upstairs.
No response, but also you look into the room immediately to the left
and there's a fireplace and you hear like this metallic bounce.
It's coming down the fireplace until you see this,
what looks like a wooden oblonged shape,
roll out of the fireplace and towards you.
Doesn't have any like sparklers or anything like that.
Just looks like a carved or whittled wooden object.
Now rolling towards you.
I'm going to cast my crab claw mage hand and have it like
pick the object up and toss it back towards the fireplace.
All in one motion.
Your crab claw appears, quickly picks it up and throws it
and you roll on your wild magic surge table.
It was a 17.
And throw it back in and you hear it land
and it splinters and shoots out into the fireplace
and some out into the room.
So yeah, there would be a degree of difficulty towards you.
So let's roll a dexterity saving throw from moot and glim.
18.
14.
Both of you managed to kind of skirt to the side
and these wooden splinters shoot out into the walls that you see.
And then you hear a voice call down like echo down.
You hear it in the house, but it echoes down through the fireplace.
Did that one get you?
Nope, boots still here.
Ah, okay.
Next one will get you.
I mean, we just we just want to talk.
You could just come down.
Maybe this is all nothing.
Also, cool doormat.
Where'd you get the doormat?
We cut out to Sully.
You hear all of this.
I've been playing the animal game by myself
where you go through the alphabet
and you try to think of an animal for every letter.
Sure.
So right now I'm at J.
Giraffe.
The explosion goes off.
Go.
Oh my God.
I don't rush up the stairs.
I slowly sneak up the stairs checking for traps
and entering through the back door.
You open the back door and moot and glim,
you are calling out maybe this isn't a thing
and then you hear the door open at the back
and you see Sully poke his head through.
Sully takes his finger and puts it in front of his lips
and makes the shh.
So boots, we know you're upstairs
and I point at Sully like.
That's what you would like to think.
Well, we could we could hear you up there
with your tiny little footsteps
and plus you threw something down the fireplace chimney.
So gravity works differently in these parts.
Okay.
Now, is that like a regional thing
or specific to this location?
You hear audibly hear pages flipping in a book.
As moots got him talking,
I'm inching my way towards the dumbwaiter.
Sure.
Yeah.
That is in the kitchen.
Dumbwaiters in a rickety building
are always a great choice.
Sully certainly thinks so.
He's the only one who could get in there.
Yep.
Well, it looks and then there's a big pause.
Just stops mid sentence.
Sorry.
What does it look like?
So it's like an upside down gravity house
that you live in.
Watch out for this one.
Then you hear a huge stump
as a chandelier falls through a hole in the ceiling.
Make a dexterity saving throw.
Not the chandelier here.
18 again.
This shack is very fancy.
It has a dumbwaiter.
It has a chandelier.
It's got it going on 16 for me, Russ.
Okay.
Both of you dodge out of the way
and as the chandelier hits,
there's this plume of smoke
and it changes color as it begins to roil up
and out of this chandelier
where clearly there was a device hidden within
and it obscures sight within this room
and the adjacent rooms making it hard to see.
Sully, you climb into the dumbwaiter.
Yeah, I do.
As the chandelier falls, you close the door.
Smoke starts coming into it.
There is a rope that you could begin to pull on.
Yep.
I want to begin pulling on that.
Okay.
You begin pulling on it.
But I'm trying to go like not in jerky motions.
I'm trying to go like.
Smooth.
Okay.
Roll me a d20.
Wait, but you didn't say what for.
No, I just said roll me a d20.
Maybe low's good.
Maybe low's good, too?
God, the two's.
I don't know.
Okay.
You're in jail, Dice.
Smooth as butter.
It's going.
You get what you based on spatial reasoning,
which Sully's very good at, obviously.
I'm going to get out of the wrong floor, you guys.
No, you get almost up to what you believe is to be the second floor,
and you're kind of holding it there with one hand,
and you hear the rope begin to splinter and fray and snap.
Oh, shit.
Who's in there?
And you fall back down to the ground.
No one.
You're going to take three bludgeoning damage
as the dumb waiter collapses around you.
God damn it.
Moot and Glim, you hear like this loud.
No one.
And then and debris spitting back out into the main floor where you are.
I exit it, and they see me like stagger out of it,
totally covered in dust and cobwebs.
That wasn't the move.
Oh, I thought maybe you got him.
Did you not get him?
Yeah, I, oh, I didn't get him.
Oh, hey, Boots.
Aren't you guys gone yet?
No, just come downstairs.
We just want to talk to you.
I can try and persuade him.
Please do.
Oh, that was a really bad roll.
I have such a good plus.
Doesn't matter, though.
That's a seven.
Come on, please, Boots.
Come on, please.
What's your favorite explosion?
Flavor.
Good answer.
Ah, I was going to say like Bahamut's love in my heart.
Is that a big one?
Oh, it's the biggest.
Like what do you add into it?
Like a lot of love and loyalty and strength and justice.
You hear as Glim is talking, you hear, I mean, both of you hear.
There's no reason that both of you wouldn't hear, but footsteps slowly.
You can tell he's trying to be quiet, moving towards this hole in the floor,
or floor for him, ceiling for you, where the chandelier fell through.
And as Glim is kind of describing how big Bahamut's love is,
you see just the silhouette through the haze and fog and smoke
that has been created of like a figure.
And he's got one of those.
He's got one of the first bombs that you saw with the whiz popper on it.
And it looks like he's going to throw it down.
So I've got a visual on him.
You've got a visual on the top of his head and his hand holding a device.
OK, I'm going to cast Mind Spike on him.
All right.
We're getting serious now.
That's right.
Remind me what Mind Spike does and what I have to do to not be affected by it.
I can reach in the mind of one creature I can see within range.
The target must make a wisdom saving throw
or take some damage on a failed save or half as much on a successful one.
On a failed save, you always know the target's location until the spell ends,
but only while the two of you are on the same plane of existence.
While you have this knowledge, the target can't become hidden from you.
And if it's invisible, it gains no benefit from that condition against you.
OK.
So you must make a wisdom saving throw.
Six wins, right?
Six is not even halfway there.
I was so close.
So close, everybody.
It does not happen for him to avoid.
That was a weird way to say that.
It works for you.
Perfect.
All right.
So you're going to take 16 psychic damage.
Oh, mind.
Moot's not fucking around anymore.
No.
Well, that glitter bomb really pissed me off.
Yeah, it was a real asshole kind of weapon.
Yeah.
OK.
So, yeah, Glim, you're describing the love of Bahamut and Moot.
You see Boots and you cast Mind Spike.
And as you did, sorry, did you roll Wild Magic?
I did not.
Well, that was a crit fail.
You cast Mind Spike and you, Glim and Moot and Sully, everybody.
Sully, you're picking yourself up trying to get out of this dumb waiter.
Yeah, it's rough for me.
What's Terry doing?
He's kind of standing outside, just kind of blowing the smoke.
Being like, you guys good in there?
You guys got him out yet?
He's still outside?
And Moot, you cast Mind Spike and you see and know the position of Boots.
You can see him roiling on the ground, screaming at this damage that he's taking,
this pain that he's in.
And then you see his body and his face and all this smoke
twist into that image that you saw in the journal.
And it becomes clearer to you.
Not clear in that you know what it is, but clearer and more visual.
And it's like you are transported somewhere else.
Everywhere gets dark and these colors become more vivid as this shape begins to form around you.
And you hear this voice, but it's not in a language that you can comprehend.
Make a wisdom saving throw.
Let's see, 13.
You see this image and hear this voice for what seems like a second.
And you're violently brought back to the room
with Glimselly and Terry standing in front of you with a panicked look on their face,
like trying to shake you back to reality.
Moot, oh, are you okay?
Sammy, slap him.
Did you guys see that, what happened with the face?
We saw you do some magic to Boots and it was pretty rad, but-
I thought I broke you again.
Yeah, you just, where you been buddy?
I've been here.
I know, I mean like physically you were here, but you were like, you know-
Oh, you were definitely somewhere else.
Terry was going to slap you.
I was, I was getting ready.
I took off my gauntlet though.
I told him he didn't have to, but he's a gentleman.
I mean, you've been out for-
It's very kind of you that you were going to.
We got Boots, whatever you did with his, he says it hurts really bad.
Maybe we, you know, that was, I mean, good job, but we got him.
But yeah, you've been out for like the last, I don't know, 10 or 15 minutes, right?
Oh, geez.
Yeah, well, it was the weirdest thing.
Remember that picture in the journal that I showed you, Terry?
Oh yeah, it's in my dreams.
Well, we haven't been asleep since I showed you.
Well, it's just, it's going to haunt my dreams.
I just know it.
Oh, okay.
All right.
So just more of a preemptive.
You've seen it in your dreams.
Got it.
Yeah, it was weird because I cast the thing, the spell at Boots there.
And then it was like Boots transformed into that thing with the face from the picture.
I don't know.
It was really weird.
Are you, are you okay?
I feel fine.
Okay.
So are you saying Boots is actually a scary monster?
Uh, I don't know.
Maybe?
What kind of, what kind of monster?
I'm not a scary monster.
I know my rights.
He came into my mind.
That's enough, Boots.
Should you shackle him or something?
He's not moving very fast.
You have to move fast to throw a bomb, just saying.
Terry walks over and shackles Boots.
So Boots, did you mess up Murloc's alchemy shop or?
Yeah, I messed that, that, that old man's shop up.
Why'd you do that?
Well, I wanted his, I wanted his recipes for all his big explosions.
You know how many noises and booms and bangs and whiz pops I hear coming from there?
So you murdered him.
Yeah, did you, did you mean to kill him?
Murdered him?
No!
I used one of his recipes.
Uh.
And he's not there anymore.
And we found a crispy fried robe.
Crispy fried robe?
Wow, that's pretty funny.
And some pink glitter.
Um, oh, well, did you hang on to the pink glitter?
Yeah.
I, yes?
Okay.
I'm reticent to tell you because you like to make bombs and I don't want you to throw
a match at me or something, but.
Why would, I'm trying to help you here.
Are you?
I'm, I'm a friend.
What a fun turnaround from earlier.
I'm a, I'm a friend of the justice system.
Right, tell him, Terry.
No.
Most people on the watch list aren't, uh.
Yeah, more of a customer?
Maybe of the justice system than a friend?
Antagonist too, said justice system?
Someone who uses the justice system, uh, frequently, uh, is, if that's not a friend,
what could you, what else could you describe it as?
I didn't notice they give out frequent fly-a-miles for the justice system.
Do they have a punch card?
Yeah, is it like every seventh visit to the justice system is free?
What's happening here?
Terry, do we have a free visit to the justice system?
No, you get fined every time.
Okay, would somebody pass me my umbrella, please?
Absolutely not.
But maybe, maybe it's going to rain.
Now, well, I think you'll be, yeah, I'm not, no one's going to hand you anything.
So why did you kill Murlock?
I didn't kill Murlock.
I used one of his recipes.
He said it was safe.
Well, what was the intended effect?
What did you want to do with that recipe?
I mean, I wanted to kill him.
Okay, so.
But I didn't.
Okay, but.
He said it just, it makes a person into another substance.
And I wanted to test it out.
Another substance?
And I thought, well, he would be able to just flip poop, you know, just make himself come back.
Flip poop?
I think more of a glip glop.
Was there glip glop?
I thought you said it was pink dust.
Yeah, there was pink dust.
Is that, are you saying the pink dust is?
That could be Murlock.
What do you mean could be?
Well, he didn't give me the whole recipe.
Do you have the partial recipe?
Do you, did you get a book?
We saw some, the pitter patter of little feet all over the bookshelf.
Yeah, I did take a book.
It was The Biggest Bangiest Explosions Under the Sun by Senor Big Bang.
Interesting you left the 101 explosions you need to see before you die book.
That was right next to it.
I didn't see that one.
Did you bring it with you?
No, it's back at Murlock's shop.
I mean, it's in custody.
Yes, which is an active crime scene.
It's in the murder scene.
Also, you're not going to go around free.
It just exploded a bunch of things and potentially even a guy.
So, can you turn him back if this pink powder is really him?
I'm not a wizard like Murlock.
That pink powder you're carrying around is our good friend Murlock.
I mean, he's probably, that's probably naked pink powder you're carrying around.
Just putting that out there.
If you left the charred up robe on the ground.
No.
So wait, your solution was to put the pink powder in the charred up road
and then bring that?
Well, if you didn't want naked pink powder.
Hey, there's nothing wrong about being naked, what?
That's right.
No, it's fine.
Are you a never nude?
You know what, even if you are, it's none of my business.
I'm just saying.
There are dozens of them.
We're, it's an affliction.
Okay?
Of course.
I'm, I'm not, I'm not anyway.
So look, okay, okay.
You got me.
How do we get him back?
He probably has a book.
Oh my God.
I said burn.
It's cold in here.
There must be some middle in the atmosphere.
I mean, delightful.
That's good.
I love it.
No, no, nobody ever jumps in with me.
So why would we jump in with you?
Oh, no, no.
Amy knows how it feels.
Mine was better.
Cause yours was better.
Ouch.
Jesus.
You have no proof.
I would say Amy's was more, like if I had jumped in, in the third word,
I would have known where it was going.
Sometimes with Russ.
Right.
You're not quite sure where it's going.
You know what?
That's what I like.
The element of surprise.
The genre might change part way through.
You just don't know.
It's always new and exciting.
It's jazz, baby.
It's all about the notes you don't play.
That's what you do in here.
Yeah.
Always.
Jazz in here in the middle.
Yep.
Welcome to the middle, everybody.
We have a full story for you over on our Patreon.
Patreon.com slash dumb dragon cast.
And that story explains how.
Slow Russ talks.
Flamikins.
Broke Grancis out of the abyss.
Yeah.
So if you're, if you're out there listening to our, you know,
regular shenanigans and you're wondering.
How'd that guy get back there?
And where the fuck do Flamikins come from?
Why is Grancis here?
And you're a bit confused.
Head on over to Patreon.
Patreon.com slash dumb dragon cast.
It's a two part exclusive adventure just for our patrons.
And both parts are out now.
That's right.
You can hear them.
Well, now that I say this out loud,
it's probably not till Friday that you can hear them.
But if you sign up now,
you'll have time to listen to the first episode.
For when it comes to preparation.
You'll be the first one.
Yeah, I know.
I really set us up that they were both out right now.
And then.
That is the one talking point.
It was.
And my brain was like, no, you dumb dumb.
That's not out till Friday when you actually finish it.
Oh, that's okay.
We kind of scrambled Russ's brain when we played that game
because Tom, Carla and I were the DMs.
So it was three against one and Russ had to talk to himself a lot.
A lot.
It was three against two.
Okay, right.
So there's a demon pineapple.
So it's all coming together.
That's right.
Three DMs, Russ playing two characters and a demon pineapple.
Yep.
Where do they stick that pineapple?
We'll find out if you go to Patreon and listen to part one.
I think Grancis might after that episode have a tattoo somewhere on his body
that just says be like the pineapple.
Like a tramp stamp?
Yeah, like be sweet on the inside and wear a crown.
Like he's got that on his body somewhere.
That and live, laugh, love.
Yeah, oh, definitely.
Patreon.com slash dumb dragon cast.
We'd love to have you over there.
And now.
Spirit fingers.
I mean, you could check the book that I said earlier.
The biggest, bangiest booms.
Bangiest booms.
Okay, and that's just upstairs?
Right in your big bang.
Yep.
Yeah, it's upstairs.
Yeah, you all go upstairs and grab it and I'll wait down here for you.
No, I think maybe just like one or two of us should go upstairs and everybody else
stay down here with you.
And definitely keep you away from the umbrella because that's so suspicious.
I think that I'm going to go upstairs.
And like investigate the stairs while we go there.
Look, I've just I got it tapped into the the barometric pressure in this area
and I know when it's going to rain.
What the fuck does that mean?
Two of you go upstairs.
Who goes upstairs?
I want to because I feel like I should have been up there anyway
with the whole dumbwaiter disaster.
Okay, I'll go upstairs as well.
I got something to prove, barely.
Moot and Sully, you go upstairs.
Roll investigation as you go.
I'm going to roll like different.
Oh, no, no, no.
You've already been upstairs.
That doesn't make sense.
I haven't been upstairs.
Well, somebody went upstairs to get somebody would have gone upstairs.
Events while Moot was out occurred.
You go back upstairs.
Yeah, there is a book kind of tossed into the corner there,
which you grab and it is the biggest bangiest
big bangs of senior senior big bang that book.
And you grab it and you come back downstairs and he's
Terry and Glim are cornering him to keep him away from the umbrella.
I was picturing Glim just sitting on him.
Perfect. Love it.
Glim is sitting on him and Terry's holding the umbrella,
kind of just looking at it.
What do you do to the umbrella?
Like does it explode?
Terry, I feel like it's kind of it's just it's dangerous.
We know it's dangerous.
I don't know why you have to fool around with it.
No, you're probably right.
We should probably leave it here.
Take it into custody.
Yeah, I think maybe bring it with us very carefully.
Yeah, that's I don't I don't think we should leave it
in case anyone else comes here to this.
Yeah, we should take it with us because it's going to rain.
Is there anything else we find upstairs?
I want to like I want to look around his place.
He messed up the shop.
I'm going to well, I'm not going to totally like turn over his place,
but you know, yeah, you know, while you're upstairs,
you do see like I got sticky fingers crumpled up a note pad
like big pieces of paper and notepad.
Same ones that I saw before thick black big pencil
that looked like there's some with writing on them
that say some say like you're the worst.
Murlock, you think these are like ones that were like
just they didn't make the cut didn't make the cut first.
I'm rubber your glue.
He's been going to Bard School and he hasn't quite
got the vicious mockery down yet.
Yeah, you see a lot of those again, confirming your suspicions.
You do see more of the devices that have been flying at you
and and exploding some of the like the wooden like the oblong wooden ones
and the confetti bombs as well as some other of the
more pipe bomb ones that were disabled.
May like a few confetti bombs.
All right, you want to take some confetti bomb to maybe some pipe bombs too.
How many do you take?
I'll take two of each to do they look.
Oh, hold on.
Do they look stable?
The confetti bombs look pretty stable.
The pipe bombs look pretty ramshackle.
I'm going to just take the confetti bombs
because I don't want to lose.
I don't know my left cheek holding it in my in my satchel.
Okay, a terrible way to lose your ass.
Do you do that in secret or do you just take them?
I just take them.
You see Sully take two confetti bombs
and that's all you really find upstairs.
A small cot and that's that's about it though.
You head back downstairs glimpsed sitting on
and they're sorting glimpsed sitting on boots and they're sorting everything out.
Nothing else that you really find in this place
at least that stands out.
He's still really drawn to the umbrellas.
Well, you guys look over the book, I guess,
and see if there's something in there and I want to take them back.
Seems like he'd probably try and use this umbrella to do something.
So I'll probably go, you know, book them.
Or maybe take the umbrella in for evidence.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Here's some notes and I had gathered up some of the notes to show as evidence that
I mean, he totally but he could change the story at any time.
You can say I'm guilty and then be like, oh, never mind.
He was under duress.
So I brought the I brought the balled up notes with me and being like,
check the handwriting.
I'm like 100,000% sure it's him.
Terry grabs the notes and pulls out one of the other notes that he took from the
from the crime scene and compares them.
It's well, the handwriting does appear to match up.
Yeah, it does.
You know, cut ahead, going back to the crime scene and you're flipping through
the biggest bangiest book.
And you do come across one that claims to turn it's turn anybody or anything
into a powder doesn't specify a color, but it does specify a powder.
It says that to reverse it, it gives you a recipe and you go downstairs and you
manage to find all of the ingredients in order to mix it, though someone's
going to need to roll Arcana in order to properly mix the remedy to this.
I only have plus one.
This is Moot's time to shine.
I think I have.
I have a no plus.
It's not that great.
And plus I've been rolling twos all night.
Don't let me do this with my plus three.
It's a 21.
All right.
Yes, sir.
Yeah.
Moot, you go down to the lab and clear yourself a space and set up.
You've managed to find enough stuff that isn't broken.
And would you say I was working in the lab late one night?
It is getting late.
And as you're doing that, everybody else upstairs or did you go down with Moot?
Where is everybody else?
Oh, I want to watch.
I'm down with Moot.
Yeah, I am so curious about Moot.
Seeing Moot do some things that aren't writing in a notebook is just...
I'm not going to tell you what's in this recipe.
Get Moot to describe what's going on here.
You can even just, you know, talk it through however you want to do it, Tom.
The recipe is pretty easy to follow.
There's a few steps that seem a little...
There's a pinch of this and then a dash of that and then these two at the same time.
But I think I'm doing...
How do you guys feel?
Do you think it's going okay?
Ew, what's that brown stuff?
I'm not really sure.
It says ground newt.
That purple stuff?
It's a Sunny D.
No, wait, that's not the purple stuff.
Lavender.
Oh, that I like.
That's stuff I like.
Yeah, you put that in my pillow, I'm out.
I think we're almost done here.
It's starting to bubble quite a bit.
Do you guys think that's normal?
I mean, maybe.
You should probably have the safety glasses on.
I know you were teasing me about asking you to wear them,
but it's probably a good idea.
It's like bubbling.
I think that's a good call.
I think I'm going to put those right on.
This is your world.
I'm taking notes.
Is this my world?
I don't think I've really done much of this before.
I do believe this is magic.
The solution begins to like bubble over like a science fair
thing with like foam and there's even some sparks
inexplicably that start coming up out of this solution.
Is that supposed to happen?
I don't know.
The recipe is not super clear on what's happening while you.
I'll just mix the last thing in and then we'll just see what happens.
Oh, yeah.
Do you guys have a bring me back from the dead?
I just want you to see what happens.
You add the last ingredient, which is?
We'll say it's golem dust.
You add the golem dust, just a pinch, just on top.
And as soon as you do it quickly, the bubbling and the sparks
and the bit of smoke that's coming up stop and it shoots back down into this beaker
and there's just this clear liquid pink in color.
So here's my question.
Do we pour this on to the pink glittery dust or do we put the dust into it?
Like, how does how does that part of it work?
What do you know?
Is it wet into dry or dry into what does it say in the ingredient?
This is just like a recipe, right?
Do we make a little well in the center and then mix it from there?
This is a terrible recipe is not super clear on how to execute it.
And Sully just picks up the powder and pours it into the liquid.
That happened right there.
I mean, stir it, I don't know.
Yeah, the powder into the liquid.
Yeah, that's what you said.
Yeah, I'll like swirl it around in the old beaker there.
Powder goes into the all of the powder or just like a little bit of the powder?
What's going on?
I put all of it in.
Okay.
There was too much deliberating.
Sully wanted action.
Sully grabs the bag off of Glim's hip and begins to pour this powder all over this solution.
And it begins to bubble and boil and you see a figure begin to take place,
but not as not like cleanly like, you know, somebody appearing like with magic.
There's mounds of flesh and bone and gristle.
You see an eyeball at one point as all of this is trying to pull itself back together
until this goes on for quite a while.
There's this scream that comes through at one point.
And it's the three of us.
And then you look at each other and it's you three screaming as this figure is coming to
back to life in front of your eyes.
And there's this older man who's hunched over on the ground.
Naked is the day he was born.
And he looks up and he's just kind of shielding himself like he was almost frozen in time.
And he looks up and he says, where did Boots go?
Jail.
Oh, that's where he's going to go.
Who are you?
The god's chosen three.
No.
That's that's.
No.
Join us on Patreon.com slash dumb dragon cast to find out who the god's chosen three is.
Destiny's Children, I think, is the name that you've been gifted.
No.
Okay.
Is it?
Yeah.
I mean, that is what they've dubbed us on the Discord.
Dents dubbed you that.
I don't think they're ready for this jelly.
Wait, we came here and saved you.
Oh, thank you.
Are you okay?
I think I think so.
Oh, here you go.
Oh, yeah, of course.
Not that nudity disgust.
Oh, it makes me uncomfortable.
I can join you if you if you were.
No, it's a it's a modesty thing.
It's all right.
I'll just cover back up here.
Thank you.
Thank you very much.
It appears that Boots had his way and got a recipe book.
Did we get that back?
Yeah.
Yeah, I have it right over here.
Great.
You need to really like make it a little more clear as to what's going to happen
in the stages of the recipe.
If you make it too clear, then too many people know exactly what happens.
And you want to leave some confusion in the spell.
It looks like whoever put this spell together did a wonderful bang up job.
OK, yeah, but just for like examples like this,
where someone is saving your life with your spell book,
maybe you want to make it clear for them
so that they understand exactly what's happening.
I'll keep that in mind.
Most people normally don't come down here.
See, Boots was a random event, a random occurrence.
He wanted to to blow everything up.
We learned that about him.
I've been using him in the past tense.
You just said he went to jail, not that he himself has been blown up.
Correct?
Yes.
Yeah, that's right.
Yeah.
Great.
Perfect.
Yep.
No, that's good.
So I won't use him in the past tense anymore.
Boots wants to blow things up.
And of course, being the foremost alchemist in this area,
I have all of the books to do so.
Speaking of blowing up things,
your shop is not in great condition.
I see just based on my lab here,
I can only assume that the explosion that he used
that perhaps rendered me catatonic.
What state was I in?
Powder.
Yeah.
Powder?
Yeah.
Oh, wow.
How did it feel?
Just question.
To be powder?
Yeah.
It's kind of like a blanks.
He kind of goes silent.
It's grisly.
Grisly.
Kind of coarse.
Well, fair enough.
You were like a bunch of salt.
Yep.
Well, thank you.
Thank you for doing so.
If there's anything I can do for you.
Well, I mean, always happy to learn a little bit of magic.
He just stares at you for a moment.
Sure.
Why not?
Yeah, you saved my life.
I could teach you a little bit of magic.
Absolutely.
Why not?
Why don't you come back tomorrow?
I'll have this place all ship shape and we'll take a peruse through some books.
That sounds like a plan.
Also, one last question.
Please.
What's with the scary face dude in your notebook?
Beg your pardon?
The scary face dude in my notebook.
Yeah.
Yeah, there's a notebook here and I pull it out and I say, yeah,
it kind of starts to get a little frantic at parts and then there's
drawing of a scary faced man at the end of the book.
As you pull it out, like he goes glassy eyed, not in panic, just kind of like freezes on the
spot.
Glim and Sully is near the same look that Moot had for the 15 minutes that you were in
Boots place and he begins to what Moot didn't do but he begins to
to speak or vocalize and moot.
It's the same sounds that you began to hear.
We cut outside Murlock's workshop where it gently begins raining and off in the
distance there you can hear just the faintest
and a large plume of smoke goes up near the jail.
Terry opened up the umbrella, didn't he?
Yeah.
Oh, Terry.
Just couldn't help himself.
More as Sully, Carla Max dead as Glim, Tom Laird as Moot and Russ More as your
dungeon master.
Editing, production and sound design is by Russ More.
This episode featured music from Kavin MacLeod and Epidemic Sound and sound effects
from Epidemic Sound, Boom Library and Sound Ideas.
A huge thank you to our supporting producers, Gabriel Lynch, Jessica Babyok,
Kat Waterflame, Jacob Madden, Christian Brown, Devin Michaels, Craig Zeiss,
Aaron Stevens, Darylith, Lulahan and Charlie Warley.
Support Dumbgeons and Dragons and our many other productions at Patreon.com
slash dumdragoncast.
Where when you are a patron, you could name a character like Boots.
Thanks to Nick Jones for that contribution.
You'll also receive bonus episodes and a full exclusive podcast called The
Adventures of, run by Tom with characters played by Amy, Carla and I.
We hope to see you over there.
You can also follow us at facebook.com slash dumdragoncast and on
Instagram and Twitter at dumdragoncast.
Thank you for listening.
Have a great week.
We'll talk again soon.
Cut back to the front.
You've.
Not detonated.
Tripped.
No, not tripped.
Disengaged.
Thank you.
No worries.
I was like, I don't know where you're going with this.
Would you say I was working in the lab late one night?
It is getting late.
Okay.
Yeah.
And as you're doing that, everybody else.
I punched the microphone.
I was so excited to see that.
You add the last ingredient, which is.
Need some fun name here.
It's going to be good.
But I mean, come on.
It's a callback.
Russ is always talking about the callback.
That's not it.
Did I do it wrong?
I wouldn't know.
That would be Dumbgeons and Dragons.
He's a dumb dragons production.